How much razan means to me

Im gona be leaving in about 6 days :'( How am i gona do this? its gona be the longest month of my life. The fact of not having the freedom to call, msg or even see my sayang as often as i want is just gona kill me.Im going out of my mind just thinking of it.

The seconds are gona feel like hours and the hours are gona feel like years. But all and all we can take it baby, i trust you and you trust me and that is all that matters.

Baby do you wonder why i always talk about seeing the moon or the stars? Where ever you and i maybe we will always be looking at the same moon or star, knowing that i always search to catch a glipse of it to feel that much closer to you hun bun.

Everynight while im there ill say "goodnight and i love you sayang" to you wishing and hopeing you will hear it. I believe that the heart is an amazing thing and i believe that if you say it with all your heart and soul every heart can hear it nomatter where you are.

Never loose faith sayang because i will come back to your arms no doubt i will. Just promise me that you wont get use to not having me around because i will always need you sayang.

I think i should stop now because im getting kinda teary because ill miss ever so much. Here is a poem that best discribes the way i feel

Love Is ...

Love is the greatest feeling,
Love is like a play,
Love is what I feel for you,
Each and every day,
Love is like a smile,
Love is like a song,
Love is a great emotion,
That keeps us going strong,
I love you with my heart,
My body and my soul,
I love the way I keep loving,
Like a love I can't control,
So remember when your eyes meet mine,
I love you with all my heart,
And I have poured my entire soul into you,
Right from the very start.

- Meghan -

in our little dreamland.

i love you...

I love you

Its amazing how life passes you by so quickly, it felt just like yesterday that i was in grade school but im actually now in pre-uni. People come and go in my life but there is only one person that slows time down, one person that i constantly wana be with , one person that i love with all my heart and i know she is not gona go anywhere.

She once ask me why do i love her? its kinda of an easy question. I love my razan because she is beautiful, smart and sofisticated eventhough she dennys every one of them. I love her because its amazing how she obsesses over little things that might not matter to anyone else but it does to her. She always fights for what she believes is right. I love her because eventhough im like the lammest person to talk to she always gives me the time and day to listen to me. I love her because everyday there is always something new that happens. I love her because of the way she imbrasess change unlike me. I love her because she is so easy to talk to. I love her nomatter how bad i mess up she always finds it her heart to forgive me. I love her because she lets me in more then anyone. I love her because eventhough i try to do everything for her she always wana do it for herself. I love you razan because you bring out all that is good and sweet in me. I can go on and on but basically I love everything about you razan everything. Forever and and always baby

Happy 10th aniversarry boo, a life time to go :))

Sonnet 43 - How do I love thee? Let me count the ways by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.I love thee to the depth and breadth and heightMy soul can reach, when feeling out of sightFor the ends of Being and ideal Grace.I love thee to the level of everyday'sMost quiet need, by sun and candle-light.I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.I love thee with the passion put to useIn my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.I love thee with the breath,Smiles, tears, of all my life

A memory that can not be deleted, a memory that is permanently imbeded in your mind and can be tregered at any time. What im trying to say here is that with every step i make with you boo its a memory that ill keep forever.

Definition of forever is spending a life time and iternaty with the one you love, well thats my definition anyway. The choice of forever is in your hands, i believe that when you believe forever is possible dont ever let it go because if you want it, it will happen.

I believe forever you and me boo, forever and always. Forever is not an easy word to say but im saying it because i want forever. I know i meet the girl of my dreams and i know she is the one who i wana be by my said forever.

Forever to love to hold, to share all of my hopes and dreams with. To build a life with, a home and a family

FOREVER and ALWAYS RAZAN
I LOVE YOU BOO
HAPPY 10 MONTHS

I miss you

I just got my mock exam results yesterday i got a U U D i think. Those U's were not like almost passes, they were horibbly done papers with pittyful marks. Seriously i am so entah eh, who the hell gets that low.

Have you ever felt that what ever you do is just not good enough? because thats how i feel now. Adang tia eh about that, sanak sudah.

I havent seen my baby for the whole day today and i miss her so much, and i mean so much. I hate it when im not with her because i feel like im not being there for her. I like to be always be by your side so that you need not go far to find a person you need to talk to, a person you can fall back on.

im sorry my post is kinda short, kinda tired tonight

I love you so much Razan

The truth

Last night was so hang man seriously but i dont wana talk abt it, gotta solve it on my own. This post is for my razan and nobody else. You are welcomed to read it but know that its for her.

When i wake up every morning the first thought that is in my mind is you. When i roll over and see the empty side of my bed i often wonder how great it would be if i woke up to your eyes, to your smile. I can think for hours before i have to get out of bed. I know this might sound abit sad but every night before i go to bed i always have to look at your picture before i drift off to sleep, that is kinda why your always my wallpaper baby.

You are the only girl that can make me feel the way i do now, loved like no other. You can make me smile like no one can and you can make me have a good laugh like nobody can. Im the type of person that always needs someone to talk to and im luck to have you to share all my secrets and dreams with.

Im a hard nut to crack i usually just keep all the true feelings inside of me but with you i become undone and show you the real me. Some people dont like the real me but you do :) i love you for not trying to change me.

I have undoubtable love for you, ill give or do anything for you. Ill run all the miles so i can reach you where ever you maybe. Where ever we are in the world just look into your heart and thats where you will find me

I love you Razan forever and always

jgn tah ber title

im kinda pissed off now. im sorry for starting the post of like this but what the hell. ngalih ku kan post anything bye

I will always be yours

I dont even know where to begin to talk abt what has happened since i last bloged. I'll start with the good, in like 8min is my 9th aniversarry with my wonderfull baby razan :))))) i cant imagine life without her. In these 9 months i have what you could say witnessed almost every sitiuation imaginable. I have seen all emotions happiness, sadness, tears, laughters and so much more.

My baby razan has eyes that are so unbelievable, if you know her the way i do you would know what i am talking abt. Through her eyes you would know if she is happy or not, if she is telling the truth and to me i can see that she loves me without even saying it. All of this might not mean anything to anyone but it means everything to me, she means everything to me.

Take for granted i shall not because i know that anything can easily be taken away from you in a blink of an eye. Everyday and evey second i treasure when i am with you baby. never take each other for granted because that is just simply not the way to be.

I belive that believing plays an important role in a relationship because it takes two to stere the wheel of love in the right direction. Have no or little room for doubt in your relationship because the world is feeled enough with doubt. I can truely say that i have no doubts at all and i am greatful with what i have with razan.

Ive mentioned this over and over again that i am not a perfect guy. I might not have the looks of a perfect guy nor have the attitude to be one but i am what i am i dont think i can change it and i dont think razan would change it either. Thats the thing razan has accepted me with my list long flaws and i am ever so greatful for that.

What Is A Soul Mate?
If you have found a smilethat is the sweetest one you've known,If you have heard, within a voice,the echoes of your own,If you have felt a touchthat stirs the longings of your heart,And still can feel that closenessin the moments you're apart,If you have filled with wonderat the way two lives can blendTo weave a perfect patternthat is seamless, end to end,If you believe some things in lifeare simply meant to be,Then you have found your soul mate,your heart's own destiny.

© Emily Matthews

I love you razan happy 9 months

Not really understanding

I know this might sound wierd but why is it i feel bad now. i just read something and it really made me feel down. I have always tried to be always there when someone needs me, i have always try to do right and i think ive tried to be all that i can be. What is it i am doing wrong? what is it? please tell me, because i dont know. Im sorry for always being in the wrong.

To my baby razan. when i was out all day on friday i was always thinking of you all along the way. when you msged me that you were online i wanted to do nothing but find my way back home and be online with you but scince i was with my parents and everything i couldnt exactly do that even though i wanted to so bad. As soon as i got home i went straight to my room and went online hoping and wishing that you will be there but there was a slim chance scince i sort of figured that you were online for quite abit in the afternoon.

So i just wana say that i am sorry abt that. and the translation to "la verdad, no es importa" is " the truth is not important"

P.S. to the teacher i was rood at this morning IM SORRY

I LOVE YOU RAZAN SO MUCH,
there is nothing i want more than to be with you,
im always thinking abt you, im always missing you,
forever and always

hey

I am in no mood to wright anything.

I love you razan :)

Feeling rather not so good

I was just searching online earlier for universities in great britain that interested me and i took a glimps at the requirement grades and they were like AAB what the fuck!!! im like worrying like hell whats going to happen to me after my A-levels are over. Am i going to make it?? That is the questions going on in my mind now. What happens if i dont quiet make it?? what is going to be in store for me?? see what i mean by being worried...



Im trying to go for civil or structural enginnering. For obvious reasons, have you seen Brunei's buildings? most of them are crap or duplicates. The buildings here have no cutting edge designs, no personallity, no challenges on the builders and mostly the buildings here lack character. With all the money this country has i dont understand why the hell we dont have these types of mega structures. Brunei is falling behind so far behind to so many other countries. comon miri is starting to look better than Brunei, talk about pethatic. Miri used to be like a slum and look at it now?



It comes into question where does our money actually go? Because i cant see us moving forward, can you? dont get me wrong we have had some advances but at a snails paste

P.S. Get well soon baby, i miss you so much
I love you razan

razan here.

this is for the perfect day i had yesterday. thanks so much sayang.. we found my dream popsicle! i acutally want a cylinder shaped popsicle but oh well... hehe. I LOVE YOU!

anyway, its Razan here. i am here because ONE, i need to apologize. u see, i was err.. u know sorting out this blog here. i separated two different posts because it looked like it was being posted in a day. which Ali totally didnt. my baby uploaded those two posts on different days. BUT, whilst separating those posts. i lost the first one. and i am truly and deeply sorry. it was a post on the picture of MALDIVES; where you're gona take me. SORRY :( i am so sorry baby.

and TWO, to get back to you. i uploaded these special Maldives pictures. for you.. i'd love to go there with you. i love you very much.

A perfect day

Today is a day that i will always remember :) Locked up in a little memory chest in my heart.I'll start from the start. I woke up kinda feeling really out of it, i actually wanted to just curl up warm and go back to sleep hehe... yeah right. I was kinda worried when i got to school because i had a chemistry test on Arenes man such a confusing topic, i hope i did good enough on it. Then i went to maths and saw my one and only there,once again during class i found myself worrying again abt my exams, its approching so fast.

razan and i went back to my house and we had so much fun. To me there is nothing better than having alone time with the one you truely love. We all need that time to appreciate the one you love a bit more, to talk abt anything and everything, to look into her eyes, to take that opertunity to show your love one how much that you love them. There is no better feeling then this, a feeling of being in love, the feeling of security and the feeling of just being you is enough.

I love you razan

and p.s. can we have a house like this :)

Pics :)

Long day out

Im finally home... It has been a long and exausting day today. My day sort of started off like this, i woke up at ard 12 30 in the morning with such an unberable pain in my throught and i couldnt even go to sleep properly after that till i went to school. I said to mum that i seriously need something for this pain, which would mean i would have to the slowest ever clinic in the world. So mum kinda presuaded dad in letting me use the car to drive myself to the clinic during my free periods hehe... I got back in time to take my baby razan out to lunch, i didnt quite go the way i wanted it to but at least i got to spend time with my forever and always :) that is what matters to me the most. Then later on in the afternoon i went to a MOE talk abt unis' and how to apply for a scholership. The talk didnt end till like 4 15pm. On the way home i was stuck in traffic all the way home. i had just like haly an hour to get ready to go to the palace for the santap thingy.

The food was great and yes razan their were big prawns :) nyaman... Waiting for sultan to shake hands with everyone took ages which was kinda understandable since there were thausands of ppl there hehe... While waitting to go i had this funny fealing come over me that there was something up with my baby razan, so i msged her straight away to make sure that she was doing alright. You could call me parinoid in doing that but i cant breath easily if that feeling is on my mind.

Then at abt quater to 12 we started leaving the palace and started to head back home. But the traffic was bad, so whilst waiting for the jam to clear up, one of my friends called MR A needed someone to talk to so i gave him my attention since he is going through such a bad time at the moment. When i finally reached home sweet home it was alredy like a few min to 1.

I miss you so much razan i really do. i would give anyting to be by your side now

I LOVE YOU,
Forever and always #86

Forever and always

Today was a great day man seriously, i actually planed on taking my baby razan out to a nice lunch for our 8th aniversary tomorrow :) but there was a last miniute crises that couldnt be avoided so we had an extra two ppl hehe... I didnt mind really since razans friend was in need of a chearing up, but we still had fun anyway. Gila its been 8 months for razan and i :) If someone asked me at this very moment if i would change anything between razan and i, i would say "no". We have had a few bumps along the way but we have also had so many good times that i will forever treasure in my heart.

I still find myself breathless when i describe my love for razan but here ill try it again. When i am with her everything wrong in the world just fall into place, all that is bad turns good and all that is good turns even better. When i am in need of someone to talk to i know i can always turn to her because ill know she will understand me even if she doesnt understand me she will at least make an effort to. She knows how to speak to my heart ever so soft and sweet and even if i get mad she knows how to calm me down.

I trust my baby razan with all my heart and with all my dreams because i know it will be kept safe in her arms. Being in her presents without even saying a single word still comforts me. So if you ask me how much i love razan, i cant answer you because there is not a word or a comparison feeling that is strong enough to describe how much i love her.

I know she will believe in me when nobody else will. I know she will be by myside through it all the good and the bad. I can go on forever telling you how much i love razan but ill leave you with this poem to show how much i love her

Sonnet 60 "Like as the waves make towards the pebbled shore"
Like as the waves make towards the pebbled shore, So do our minutes hasten to their end, Each changing place with that which goes beforeIn sequent toil all forwards do contend. Nativity, once in the main of light, Crawls to maturity, wherewith, being crowned, Crooked eclipses 'gainst his glory fight And Time that gave, doth now his gift confound. Time doth transfix the flourish set on youth, And delves the parallels in beauty's brow, Feeds on the rarities of natures truth, And nothing stands but for his scythe to mow; And yet, to times, in hope, my verse shall stand, Praising thy worth, despite his cruel hand.
William Shakespeare
(1564 - 1616)

I LOVE YOU RAZAN

The start to be the person i was

I wright this blog just to let my feelings out, instead of letting it consume me and abdsorb all my happiness away. So i wright here when i find myself in a position that words cannot be said. Today i found myself in a sitiuation where saying sorry is not good enough, in a sitiuation where saying "i love you" are just not the right words to say. Ive been thinking long and hard on how to make things right again but i came across a cold hard truth, that is what has been done is done and there is nothing i can say or do to change it. So im here trying to make a difference in myself, trying to undo the bad things i have become. I am pleeding and beging you to trust me once again and to let me in your ever so fragile heart.I know i am not a perfect guy, im actually far from it ,so please forgive me because i am bound to make mistakes along the way but trust me that i will learn from them and be a better person

I LOVE YOU razan, always have and always will

Trying to blog haha

Man im so lost. idont know what i am doing here, help razan hehe...